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A psychologist quoted in the article, Joshua Coleman, author of “When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along,” who was on the parental end of this issue, offers this advice to parents whose adult children have cut them out of their lives: “Often, [Coleman] said, parents in these situations give up too soon. Then one day on an afternoon walk around the running track at the Central Park Reservoir the wildest, weirdest thing ever happened…
He advises them to continue weekly letters, e-mail messages or phone calls even when they are rejected, and to be generous in taking responsibility for their mistakes — even if they did not seem like mistakes at the time.
In our blame-the-parent culture we mostly just hear from the “kids'” perspective.
Generating more than 800 comments, the story clearly touched a nerve–many are from parents bewildered and deeply grieved and many are from those less than sympathetic to parents who may deserve to be cut off. Happy is too pale a word to describe the relief, ecstatic joy and endearing words we exchanged.